One way to answer this question is to remember the acronym K.N.O.W.:

• Know adolescent development
• Notice warning signs
• One to one communication
• Watch and listen

Know adolescent development:
If you close your eyes and think back to your years in high school, the odds are you were a very different person then. If you're honest with yourself, you'll remember that some of the attitudes and personal pronouncements you chose were well intentioned but immature. You'll also recall that there were times and situations when you were scared, insecure, impulsive or just plain ignorant. You probably listened to your friends and trusted their judgments just as much if not more than your parents'. You developed your own culture in music, fashion, trends and slang. And you probably did things your parents wished you wouldn't because, for better or worse, you needed to experience what the decisions of your own making would be like. If you can even remember one frightening or exciting or funny incident from your youth, you can sympathize with your teenage child. It still is a frightening/exciting/funny time. This empathy doesn't mean you condone all teen behavior; it simply means you are all the more observant for having been there, done that.

Notice warning signs:
Not every teen uses drugs; in fact, most don't on a regular basis. But most teens have tried drugs - and that most certainly includes America's number one favorite drug: alcohol. Problems begin when occasional experimentation slips into chronic and intrusive abuse. For example, if the last time your child had alcohol was the glass of wine at his cousin's wedding two months ago, this is not a problem. But if that glass has turned into tequila shots at two barbeques this week, plus some hits on the bong before first period, then experimentation has slid into abuse. Warning signs usually include dramatic changes in behavior, such as a sudden preference for a new group of friends, for instance, or a severe drop in grades or social isolation from family and family events. Change in behavior will also correspond to a change in mood. Your teen may appear more sullen, angry, or agitated than before. Adolescence is a time when almost all teens experience mood swings, and you should be aware that may other factors can contribute to changes in behavior, such as clinical depression, eating disorders and personal crises. Knowing your particular child will help determine if drug abuse or something else is driving the dramatic changes you are witnessing.

Stay informed. Attend parent or community meetings on drug use. Go to the National Institute of Drug Abuse (www.nida.nih.gov) or to the Substance Abuse Mental Health Services Administration websites (www.samhsa.gov) for general information. I particularly like the young adult driven site of Go Ask Alice goaskalice.columbia.edu). Google up 'marijuana' or 'X' or 'PCP' and see what you find. If you hear of a drug trend in your community, do some research on it so you know the slang terms and how the drug is used. And let your teen know what you know.

One on one communication:
How do you begin this conversation? One way to start is to ask general questions about drug use and your teen's routine. For example: "What happens at the "kick-backs" you go to?" "What drugs are popular at school these days?" "Would you know what to do if someone at a party drank too much?" "Have you ever been in a situation where you felt uncomfortable about using drugs?"

Watch and listen:
If you suspect your teen is abusing drugs, watch and listen for evidence. When he is late on curfew, is his behavior erratic? When she comes in from the party, is she sick the next day with the "flu"? Was he just "holding" the small bag of marijuana for "someone else" or "forgot" the bag was in his backpack? Is she sneaking out late at night? Are you missing money or jewelry? Have you caught him lying about where he's been?

You can begin with a talk about the difference between occasional use and abuse and the consequences if arrested for illegal use. You can drug test your child and reward him or her for sustained sobriety. You can accompany your child to a Young People's AA (more appropriate for your teen than the regular AA meeting where the average member may be your age or older). Abstinence will curtail the actual use of drugs, but may not solve the underlying issues that drove your child to abuse in the first place. Twelve Step meetings can be supplemented by individual and family therapy. Residential care can be considered to provide your child with the structure and containment he or she may need to gain sobriety and self-assurance.

Remember:
Growing up can be an arduous climb. Don't allow your teen to come to the cliff's edge because of drug abuse. K.N.O.W. your adolescent and find him or her to help, if needed. The journey to adulthood will be less daunting for your child if you are there for support.